Monday, August 22, 2011

Sweet Dreams

Tonight as I was tucking in D, my almost six year old, he looked up at me and said, "mommy, I miss you when you're not with me."  After some snuggling and discussion I reminded him that the trip to China would take two weeks and asked if he still wanted us to go.  He said, "Yes, I really want a little sister, but I'll miss you." 

If he had said, "no, please don't go," my heart would have broken.  He is such a sweet, dear child.  I can't imagine not being his mommy.  I can't imagine all that I would be missing out on if I hadn't had children. 

And then there's W, my almost three year old.  I'm dreading leaving him because I know he'll have a tough time with it.  He is so very, very attached to me.  It will be so hard to leave him knowing how sad it's going to make him because he won't understand why we're leaving for so long. 

I'm looking forward to the trip for the adventure of it, but leaving them will be such a struggle.  I don't know how I'm going to board that plane when the time comes.  I will be leaving half of my heart behind. 

Sweet dreams little ones.